??? Inaelekea bangi ni “chakula” kinachopatikana kwa urahisi na bei nafuu sana Tanzania ????? Lemme just stay safely in America ??
Category Archives: Just for funny
Baba_Dangote: when I say I love you true means it agah!…..The only thing I have in my life is you!
Love in the air! Hivi mnakumbuka wakati nilimtakia mama Diamond kheri ya kutimiza miaka 50 nikauliza where is "step dad" kwasababu miaka khamsini bado kijana kabisa! Embu soma hapa (kheriyamiaka50MamaDiamond) Eeh, unajua haikukaa sana tukaanza kusikia fununu kuwa mama yake Diamond kaolewa!
Najuzi kati kwenye harusi ya Romy Jones akatokea naye pia mama Diamond alisema rasmi kuwa kaolewa na tusubirie mziwanda anakuja ?? uzee mwisho 'kanda ya Ziwa' huku Pwani wote baby ???
Sasa naona kila mtu ameshakubaliana na hiyo hali na baba wa kambo naye kawa huru hata kumposti mkewe na familia yake kwenye social media! Baba kafa kazimia kwa mama, mpaka kaamua kujiita "baba Dangote" kwenye account zake za Instagram ili kuendana na jinsi mama yake Diamond anavyo jiita kwenye social media. 
Binafsi, I don't see a big deal at all!! After all ni mumewe halali siyo boyfriend so what the fuzzy is all about! Ingekuwa just a "strange man" sawa lakini huyu kaka kafuata mila na sheria zote za dini ya Kiislamu kuoa hivyo sasa kunatatizo gani mtu kumposti mkewe wapekee hakuna maswala ya ukewenza kusema anampendelea?!! Jamani life is too short let others be!
Maisha ya wanawake wengi wa Kiafrika ni ya shida, many don't get the privilege to enjoy their youth! Yani kuna maisha yaliyopangiliwa na familia pamoja na jamii mtu binafsi hupati nafasi ya Ku experience life and choose what is best for you! Nakama bado haitoshi, wengi wanafiikiria ndoa zitawapa furaha matokea yake emotional abandonment is all they experiencing!!.......... Kama kwa wenzetu Waislam wanaruhusiwa kuachana kiurahisi hivyo wanawake wengi wanaishia kuteseka kulea watoto wenyewe bila msaada wa baba zao! Hivyo, pale mwanamke anapopata mtu wa kumfanya ajisikie 16 again why not?!! Let her enjoy the youth life that was once snatched away from her!!Mimi hizi double standard za Wabongo hata sizielewi!! Wanaume wanaoa wasichana ambao wamepishana hata zaidi ya miaka 30 na watu mnaona sawa tu! Lakini mama wa watu wamepishana miaka kumi tu inakuwa shida?! Ni wivu ama?? Tatizo Nyota aa ???
Haya, wenzenu wako honeymoon South Africa wakati nyie mnaojiona wasichana wabichi mnaambulia kupelekwa Ramada Inn Bagamoyo, kwani mmekuwa waganga wa kienyeji ??
??? napenzi kama bia nileweshe ee chupa kilo mia nibebeshe ee ?? Halafu Baba Dangote handsome boy kweli kweli, he truly needed a "Nanny" to babysit him ?? BTW, hivi huyu stepdad hana watoto eeh? Mbona anasema "the only thing I have in my life is you"?! Kama hana basi hapo bi Sandra ata enjoy sana maana hakuna mambo ya ada za shule sijui uniform za watoto, Mara oh, watoto wanaumwa makamasi ?? inahusu?!???? #RULE YOUR LIFE
Hakikisha ujumbe huu umewafikia Wahaya wote!
Mwanasheria msomi wa kimataifa mwenye asili ya Kiluo kutoka Utegi, Rorya, mkowa wa Mara, ajulikanae kama Janeth O. O Igogo. 
Leo hii asubuhi masaa ya Africa Mashariki akiwa ndani ya jiji la Bukoba mara tu baada ya kutua salama katika mji huo unaosifika kwa matetemeko ya ardhi kupitia Facebook page yake alituma salamu kwa Wahaya wote wanao ng’ang’ania mjini kurudi kwako wakajenge Kagera ya viwanda vyenye kasi ya Rais Dr. Magufuli…….. Ujumbe huu ni muhimu sana ukiupata hakikisha kila Muhaya unaye mjua ameusoma ??? #AzimioLaKagera 
Embu tucheke kidogo!
????????????????? O’Yes! Just give them the taste of their own medicine! I did that to Muhaya, gave him a really good doze ?????????? alifikiri mie Muhaya mwenzie ?? Before you start the fire try to know your firefighter ????
Embu tucheke kidogo!
Nimecheka lakini wakati huo huo nikaona Kama vile wanawake wanatuone! Kwani Kuna wanaume wangapi amabo Ni maboya kabisa, Yani hata akili za kupewa hazipandi lakini unamkuta kutwa kuutambia kofia za Gucci, LV na brand nyingone ambazo Ni za ghali au unamkuta anavaa viatu expensive wakati akivua hiyo harifu ya miguu mwenye mimba change anaweza kwenda leba kwa harufu tu ??? anyway, its a joke but not fear! #Umaridadi uficha umasikini, just saying ???
Ivana Trump: I am First Lady Trump
#Feud in the WhiteHouse........Mambo hayo! Who does he belong to and whos is the "first"?! Mipasho ndani ya WhiteHouse! Kweli wanawake wote ni sawa hata uwe nani! Wakati mwingine anasema sasa nini mimi ndio mke wake wa kwanza! Mwingine anasema haijalishi kwani mimi ndio First Lady ??? shughuli imewapata washughulikaji ?? yale yale ya Kanye West na Ray J ? ......Kama huelewi hiyo lugha ni hivi aliyekuwa mke wa kwanza (wamesha achana) wa Donald Trump amabye pia ndio mama wa watoto wakubwa watatu wa Mr Trump ambaye anajulikana kama Ivana Trump (hakubadilisha jina baada ya divorce) anasema yeye ni first lady wa Mr Trump kwani ndiye mke wake wakwanza na ndio mama wa hao watoto wenye maadili mazuri! Sasa mke wa Mr Trump wa sasa (mke wa tatu) ambaye ni First Lady Melanie Trump anasema so what!?! kwani yeye ndio First Lady wa Marekani! Mambo ya "title deed" hayo ?? msifikiri ni kwa Zari na Hamissa tu hapana! Mpaka kwenye WhiteHouse ya Marekani ?? Bora hata hawa wanarushiana vijembe kwa millionaire sasa wengine mtukanane kwa mwanaume wa $50 anaye ishi kwa pesa ya paycheck to paycheck kama akina Alpha hapa inahusu ?? mwanaume anaye abudu LIKES kwenye Facebook na followers kwa Instagram ?? pole zenu! Mie nipe kwanza ATM card yako ndio nitafanya huo ujinga. mkono mtupu haulambwi jama ?? ......Nafikiri wakati Melanie Trump anarusha mipasho kwa kutumia wimbo wa "The boy is mine" naye Ivana Trump akatumia wimbo wa "he wasn't a man enough for me" kama ifuatavyo -:
You need to give it up. Had about enough It's not hard to see The boy is mine I'm sorry that you Seem to be confused He belongs to me The boy is mine
Who do you think I am? Don't you know that he was my man? But I chose to let him go So why do you act like I still care about him? Looking at me like I'm hurt When I'm the one who said I didn't want it to work Don't you forget I had him first? What you thinkin'? Stop blamin' me He wasn't man enough for me If you don't know, now here's the chance I've already had your man Do you wonder just where he's been, yeah? Not be worried about him Now it's time you know the truth I think he's just the man for you Haya mchukuwe notes za jinsi ya kulea watoto haswa nyie wenye pesa zenu!
Embu tucheke kidogo na Fred Omondi
Don’t play with Otienos’ siyo watu wa spoti spoti eeh ?? unajua baba yangu his first name ni Otieno, the dreams he described utafikiri anamuongelea yeye ?? na huyo mwanamke mwenye dream yakuwa “OW” A.K.A “Otieno’s wife” ni shida! But kuna wanawake wa hivyo ambao wanakwenda shule nia yao kulewa na madokta, professos, au wafanya biashara wakubwa!……… So funny!
Cheka urefushe maisha yako!
"Karibu uraiani Sanjay ?? (Ni hali tu wote tutayapitia nitaingia mimi nitoke Sunil Sheti) #SioHabari"
??? Nacheka siyo kwamba mazuri but the "humor" is so for really! ?? Yani huyu Idriss is a true Comedian, mtu ambaye anaweza geuza kitu cha huzuni kuwa chakawaida mpaka kuchekesha, then in the end unabaki unajiuza kwa kina about life! Like kumbe Manji asingekuwa na pesa ndefu ni mkaka/baba wa kawaida sana, then unajipa moyo kumbe hata mimi si mbaya "pesa ndio kidogo na matumizi ni mengi" in Akothee Akothee's voice ?? huyo ni comedian mzuri sana!
Embu tucheke kidogo na Mc PiliPili
??? huyu Mc Pilipili analeta utani na vyuo vyetu eeh! Eti utapata wapo mchumba wakati unasoma VETA ?? So fuuny!
Embu tucheke kidogo na Shilole!
Shilole anaomba Kevin Hart amsaidie kuelewa nini anakisema kwani yeye anajua “Yuston” alisha kufa sasa hizo ;ela za nini? Na anataja celebrities mbona na yeye ni celebrity toka East Africa ???, Shilole you killed it ? kidogo kidogo utaelewa tu mama! Lol!……….alichokisema Kevin Hart ni hiki ?
“I love & appreciate you all for your support. @therock @nickiminaj @chrisbrownofficial @troubleman31 “The Kardashian Family” @kandi @wendyshow @djkhaled @cp3 & Chain Smokers and everyone else that has donated. Let’s all keep Houston as well as the surrounding cities that are being affected in our prayers. ??????”
Cheka urefushe maisha yako!
Embu tucheke kidogo, wahenga walisema ‘simtukane Mamba kabla huja vuka mto’! Sasa wenzetu wana msemo mmoja ambao maana yake ni kuwa usimcheke mtu kwa hali yake aliyokuwa nayo leo maana huwenda wewe ukawa ndio yeye huko mbeleni! ….Sasa mtu ameamua kumcheka Bill Gates ili nayeye aje kuwa kama yeye siku za usoni ?? …..Ngachoka mie!
Cheka urefushe maisha yako
Embu tucheke kidogo maana nimuda kidogo tangu tucheke ?? katika tembea tembea yangu huko Instagram nikaenda kuchungulia kwa Idriss Sultan nikakutana na hii video ambayo nikahuzunika kumuona huyo mtoto anayumba yumba kabla ya kudumbukia kwa swimming pool! Lakini ghafla nikajikuta nacheka baada ya kisoma #Caption ambayo Idriss ameiweka sambamba na hii video ?? embu isome hapo chini maaana naona mimi kama kanigusa vile ??
"Mtag mshkaji wako ambaye unahisi maisha yake yanaenda kama huyo mwenye blue ???"~~~~~~~Idriss Sultan
Fahari ya kila mzazi!
These kids!!! Wazurijeee! Nimewapenda bure! Kheri tumbo lililo wazaa, kheri maziwa walio nyonya, Mungu abariki uzao wenu! Watoto ni fahari ya kila mzazi! Mungu awalinde hawa watoto na mashetani ya hii dunia.
Cheka urefushe maisha yako!
???? Hivi huyu Idriss kichwani mwake zimo kweli au zilisha hama? ???? Can't stop laughing.........., sasa hapo ndio sikio lake limekaribia kufa anajaribu kulifufua na dawa au ndio limesha kufa halisikii dawa ?? so funny!
Cheka urefushe maisha yako!
"Love is a serious mental disease"! ??? atakaepinga hilo basi huyo hajawahi kupenda! Yani mapenzi ni ugonjwa wa akili kumpenda mtu lazima uwe punguani lasivyo utakuwa chizi ???? 
Cheka urefushe maisha yako….. #No romance without finance
Eti wataalamu wanasema hivi, msichana anapo muuliza mwanaume kuhusu namna anavyo endesha maisha yake kiuchumi haimfanyi kuwa mwanamke mwenye tamaa au kupenda makuu, hapana! Huyo ni mwanamke mwenye akili nzuri / timamu! Kwani hata wao wanaume wasingependa kuona binti zao wanaolewa na wanaume Mburulaz ??? Yakwamba wanatakiwa wawajali wanawake wengine kama ambavyo wangependa mabinti zao watendewe na wanaume wengine! Hakuna pesa hakuna mahaba ??? kuna topic nyingine kasema kama mwanaume hawezi kumudu kununua pete ya ndoa basi huyo mwanaume hawezi imudu ndoa achana naye ??? ee shughuli pevu maana mie nimempenda mmeba mabox mwenzangu ??? Duh! Mapenzi ya mwendo kasi yana kazi kweli! >>>>>>> "She's not a gold digger for wanting to know how you make your living. She's smart! You wouldn't want your daughter to marry a BROKE man either. Fellas!!! Do unto other women as you would have other men do unto your daughter(s). ?? No romance without finance. ?" AskcheyB
Cheka urefushe maisha yako!
Cheka urefushe maisha yako: #LookingForAWifeToHire
“I am looking for a wife to hire, my family from ushago are visiting me, they think am married because I have been cheating them ……this woman must be 7 months pregnant. She will stay up to Tuesday when they leave. I think 25K is enough for 4 days.”
Majibu ya waombaji:
Sheila Githaiga: Uko wapi exactly tufanye hii biashara……sina mimba lakini niko na kitambi inakaa mimba
Christiane Christina: Nikisema hii maneno ni tricky sana
Katarina Karatu then and now!
Kweli Akothee Akothee alisema ukweli kuwa “We are not ugly, mapato ndio kidogo na mahitaji ni mengi” soma ?? WeAreNotUgly …… 
Tazama jinsi Katarina anavyo ng’ara sasa! Yani tofauti sana na alivyokuwa wakati anapesa za “kubangaiza” yani pesa zisizo kuwa na huwakika! Ni mrembo wa kuzaliwa lakini makeup imemuongezea mvuto zaidi! Alijisemea Chris Rock kuwa “Money is the best lotion ever”! Nahapa tunapata kuthibitisha LIVE! Kapendeza sana! ?❤
Are they allowed to date?
Nimekutana na hii topic huko kwa Instagram as usual huko ndipo vituko vyote vipo ?……..Sasa swali ni kwamba; eti umemkaribisha rafiki yako ukamtambulisha kwa ndugu yako halafu wakapendana, je ni sawa hiyo na ungefanyaje? Binafsi sipendi kabisa! Hila sina huwakika kama ni sawa au si sawa japo hii tabia ipo sana Ujaluoni! Yani unaweza kukutana familia imeoa / kuolewa kwenye mji mmoja. Naposema mji mmoja namaanisha familia ya baba na mama mmoja au baba mkubwa na mdogo. Utakuta dada na mdogo wake wameolewa kwenye familia moja. Sasa hao wanaoowa kwenye ukoo mmoja ndio usiseme nikitu cha kawaida sana!………..Tatizo kubwa ambalo naliona hapa ni kama ukoo /familia ina magonjwa ya kurithi basi kuna uwezekano mkubwa wa watoto wenu wote wakarithi hayo magonjwa! Otherwise, mmh! Ila wanasemaga “mapenzi hayana macho”! Hata hivyo huo usemi mie sina huwakika nao kwani macho yangu yamemuona Muhaya ??……….. 